


Two Roads Diverged

by Mina Lightstar (ukefied)



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Angst, Doppelganger, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NaNoWriMo fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-30
Updated: 2012-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-30 08:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/pseuds/Mina%20Lightstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ted meets The One, Barney dies a little inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Roads Diverged

**Author's Note:**

> This was a NaNoWriMo 2011 fic. Standard disclaimers for quality of fic written during the flurry of NaNo apply. XD
> 
> Fanbingo square: Coming of Age

When Ted meets The One, Barney dies a little inside. It’s all right, though, because whenever he starts feeling sad and broken, he stops feeling sad and broken and decides to be awesome instead. So he’s fine — really. He’s just peachy.

He just needs some time to recharge, that’s all. So he withdraws from the group for a while, spends time at other bars, picks up other women, and tries to make other friends. It doesn’t work out nearly as well as he hopes. The other bars aren’t MacClaren’s, the other women seem hollower than usual, and he’s not really in the market for any new friends. It takes a long time to get best friends just the way you like them, and Barney doesn’t want to make that sort of investment.

Besides, he likes his friends.

But Barney doesn’t want to hear about how Ted’s new girlfriend can play the theme to Star Wars on the ukulele. He doesn’t care that she can paint tiny pink robots riding dinosaurs and make it more awesome than it even sounds. He doesn’t care that she’s — that she’s everything Ted’s ever dreamed of and more, that she’s the perfect choice for his best friend.

He calls James, mentions they haven’t seen each other in a while, wonders if he feels like coming for a visit.

James is busy with his son and husband, but he seems to understand that Barney needs someone right now. He basically drops everything and comes to New York, pumps Barney up with some much-needed self-confidence, and together they hit the town.

In the end, Barney doesn’t actually spend too much time with James. He uses his brother as an excuse to scope out Lame, an excuse to lose himself in anonymity. The moment James sits down to start texting his husband, Barney disappears.

He weaves through the throngs of people, searching, searching — finding. Doppelgangers are difficult to come by, but so many men concentrated in one space are bound to hide some close seconds.

The man is the spitting image of Ted — or maybe that’s what Barney wants to believe. In either case, the man is tall, dark, and has Ted’s hair, if Ted used less product. His jeans hug his form, but aren’t unflattering. His shirt is a V-neck, and he is toned. He looks delicious. Or maybe Barney’s projecting.

In either case….

“Hi,” Barney says, leaning in to be heard over the roar of the music. “Are you an architect?”

The man is bemused. “No.”

“Huh.” Barney shrugs, takes a sip of his drink.

Inevitably, “Why do you ask?”

Barney shrugs again, and averts his gaze. “I don’t know, you just … have that look about it, I guess. Strong, solid,” he peeks up shyly, “intelligent eyes with an attention to detail. I have an architect friend, so maybe it’s something I notice.”

The not-architect’s mouth quirks into a wry grin. “Is that all you notice about your friend?”

“Well…” Barney looks away, taking another sip. He looks back only when the other man touches his sleeve.

“I’m Ed.”

 _No fucking way,_ Barney thinks, but all he says out loud is, “Barney.”

He doesn’t know what James ends up doing for the next forty-five minutes. Barney, on the other hand, ends up in the men’s washroom, having the life kissed out of him. Ed ends up hoisting him up and settling him on the edges of two sinks, slipping between his spread legs and claiming his mouth with wild ferocity. Ed’s fingers card through his hair, and Barney pulls and grabs at Ed’s shirt and neck.

When Ed pauses to give them some air, Barney tips his head back, blinking away stars. “I-I never—”

“Don’t say you never do this,” Ed warns him, already loosening his tie and going for buttons.

“I _don’t,_ ” Barney insists, head lolling of its own accord when Ed bends to kiss the expanse of skin he’s just bared. “Not with men,” he clarifies. “I’ve never—”

“First time for everything,” Ed figures, and then he’s clearly not interested in talking. They end up making out with such earnest, they don’t notice the world around them. They pay no mind to the door opening and closing, to the stall door clanging shut, or to the men who come to wash their hands and make catcalls.

They only stop when someone makes a big deal about Barney sitting on the sinks. “Come on, dudes, there are only eight sinks,” he complains.

“Sorry, sorry,” Ed offers, dragging Barney down himself. “What a moment-killer.”

Barney looks at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Or is it?”

He texts James to say he’s hooked up; his brother sends back a thumbs-up. They take a cab to Barney’s apartment and can barely wait until the door is closed before they’re on each other again.

“So this is your place,” Ed quips, glancing around as he pulls Barney’s coat off. “It’s almost … clinical in its bachelor-ness.”

“Clinical?” Barney parrots, for once not caring that his expensive suit is being dropped, piece by piece, onto the floor and couch. “What do you mean?” He asks even though he doesn’t really care, because now they’re shuffling to the bedroom, past the porn collection, into the darkness and onto the soft mattress.

“There’s no life here,” Ed answers, even as he climbs atop Barney, looking down into his eyes. He touches Barney’s cheek. “Everything is sterile and dark — impersonal. Like you don’t want anyone to see you for who you really are.”

Barney blinks once, very slowly, and then decides to brush this off with a joke. “Are you an architect, or a psychiatrist?”

Ed smirks. “I’m a lover,” he retorts, reaching between their bodies to grab hold of Barney, teasing him into a frenzy. “Is this really your first time with a man?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm … do you have a preference?”

“… Preference?”

“You’re adorable.” Ed lowers the length of his body along Barney’s, rubbing their cocks together, framing his face with his hands. “Top or bottom?”

“Oh.” He wants to say “top,” he really does, but he’s not sure he is right now. He’s not sure he can do much besides pretend he’s lying beneath Ted Mosby and wanting to be whatever Ted needs…. “I…”

“Bottom, then,” Ed chuckles, rocking their hips together. “You seem a little befuddled, darling. Maybe you need someone to show you how it’s done.”

“Maybe,” Barney mumbles, submitting because this seems to be what Ed wants. Barney is nothing else if not accommodating.

It’s intense and they fuck like it’s going out of style — and Barney thinks he shouts Ted’s name once or twice, instead of Ed’s, but Ed either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

***

Ted stands outside Barney’s apartment, wondering if he should knock. He stares down at the Saturday paper sitting outside his door. James had called him last night, insisting that Ted go speak to Barney. Ted hadn’t known precisely what the problem was, and James hadn’t quite specified, saying only that Barney was in a rough spot about all this, and it was probably a Very Good Idea if Ted would swing by first thing in the morning.

Ted takes a deep breath, and knocks on the door. Almost immediately, it opens — but Barney’s not the one who does so. Ted is taken aback, because this strange man who opens the door looks … actually rather much like him.

Ted blinks, and clears his throat awkwardly. “Um … is Barney here?”

The stranger laughs under his breath, and shakes his head. “Oh, man, seriously?” he says, almost to himself. Then louder, “He’s still asleep. It was a … rough night.” He raises his eyebrows at Ted, wanting him to get the idea. He even helps by stepping aside and offering Ted an invitation to come inside. This movement leaves the mess of clothes spewed across the floor in perfect view.

Ted gapes, but manages to cover it soon. “Uh, who are you?”

“Name’s Ed,” the man says as Ted walks past him, into Barney’s living room.

Ted does a double-take. “… _Ed_?”

“Yup. Nice to meet you, I guess. Listen,” he goes on, and Ted notices he’s dressed in wrinkled clothes and has his coat on, “I’ve gotta go, told ‘im I’d let myself out. There’s still some coffee if you want some. And,” he looks Ted up and down, “correct me if I’m wrong, but is your name Ted, by any chance?”

Ted swallows — quite audibly. “Y-yeah.”

Ed smirks. “Then I think you might want to have a talk with your friend.” He gives Ted a pointed look. “I’ve been called the wrong name before, but I’ve never been handpicked because I looked like another man before.”

Ted swallows again; he can’t keep the large lump in his throat down. “Oh. Well. Nice meeting you.”

“I’m sure,” Ed says, and makes his exit.

For a few minutes, Ted stands in Barney’s living room, wondering just what the hell he’s going to do about all this. He looks at the clothes littering the floor. Barney went home with a man last night — a man that looked like Ted. A man whose _name was Ed_. It was too much.

But now he knows why Barney has been avoiding them. Now he knows why Barney can’t stand—

“Ted?”

Ted spins around, shocked, and finds a half-naked Barney staring at him from the entrance of the living room. Clad only in crisp white boxers, Barney looks sleepy, hung-over, and vulnerable. “Hey, buddy.” Even from across the room, he can see the red marks on Barney. Rough night, indeed.

Barney looks a little scared now. “How did you get in?”

Ted gives him a half-smile, wondering if he should tell the truth or claim he used the spare key. Finally, he realizes that just admitting the issue will eventually do them favors in the long run. “Your, uh, friend let me in.”

There is an intense slow-burn before Barney stammers, “W-what?”

Ted marches to the counter. “Let me pour you some coffee.”

Barney backs into the hallway, looking skittish. “Uh, no. No thanks, Ted. I don’t want any coffee.”

“Well, I do.” Ted gets himself a mug and pours a cup. He heads to the fridge to fish out cream and sugar. He sips his coffee, unsure of how to continue. Barney hasn’t moved, fidgeting in the hallway. “So…?”

Barney looks at him, scratches the back of his head. “… So, what?”

Ted gives him a look. “You want to explain this, maybe?”

His friend averts his eyes. “Look, Ted. I — I don’t know what to say.”

Ted puts his mug down. “James told me I ought to come check on you, Barney. Now I see why." He squares his shoulders. "This wasn’t just some random hook-up, was it? You deliberately went to score a man who looked like me?”

Barney is looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. “Ted, please don’t make me talk about this. It’s bad enough now that you’re…” he trails off, risking a glance upward before lowering his eyes again.

Ted shakes his head, walking right up to him and hating the way Barney shrinks back like he’s going to be struck. “Listen, Barney, this is confusing as all hell, but I’m not — I’m not _mad_. I just don’t know what to do with this information, assuming it’s correct. Is _is_ correct, isn’t it?”

Barney still won’t look at him, but he does manage a tiny nod.

“You want me?”

“Yes.” This comes out in such a quiet whisper, Ted isn’t sure he’s heard it right.

“You’re really in love with me?”

“Damn it, Ted, I said yes!” Barney’s head snaps up and he looks hurt, angry, and a little … desperate? “Yes! I’ve been in love with you for _twelve years_.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Twelve _years_ , Ted. And now — now you’re marrying…” he rubs at his face.

Ted reaches for him, but once his fingers touch Barney’s shoulder, his friend recoils. “Barney,” he sighs, “why didn’t you tell me something like this years ago?”

“Oh, yeah,” the blond mumbles behind his hands, “that would have worked out just swimmingly, wouldn’t it? At best, you would have given me some lame pep-talk about being able to move on after being rejected. At worst, I wouldn’t have you in my life at all.”

Ted throws up his hands. “So you wait and pine all this time, and you think you’re just going to be able to walk away from me _now_?”

Barney glares at him. “ _She_ certainly makes it easier.”

Ted is bewildered. “Barney, I love you — but come on, why are you blaming her? If I’m not into guys, I’m just not into guys. That’s no reason for you to hate on her.”

Barney squeezes his temples. “Ted, you can’t possibly understand how I feel right now, so please just … go away.” With that, he turns and retreats to his bedroom.

But Ted shakes his head and follows him. “Barney, no. We can’t leave it like this, because it will just get worse.” Barney attempts to close the door in his face, but Ted braces it with his foot. “I’m serious, Barney!”

Barney tries shoving harder, but they’re both pretty strong. “Leave me _alone_ , Ted! It’s bad enough you happen to show up just to catch me sleeping with your doppelganger, but now you want to _talk_ about it? While you’re so high and mighty in your fucking _relationship_?”

“Shit, Barney, that’s not,” he grits his teeth, pushing harder into the door, “that’s _not_ what I’m here for. I’m here to try and help you.”

“Help me _what_? Shower some extra humiliation on me because I can’t fall much lower? You know what? Fuck this.” He lets go of the door; Ted goes stumbling in and nearly falls on his face. “Fuck _you_.”

Ted spins around, grabs Barney by the shoulders and pulls him close — wraps his arms around his friend and holds him despite his struggles, despite his protests. And Barney does struggle, trying to pull away, shoving at Ted’s chest and cursing all the while. He’s not looking at him, but Ted can tell he’s having some kind of breakdown. This is confirmed when he eventually runs out of fight and just collapses in Ted’s arms. He’s shaking, skin cold to the touch. Now that his struggles have ceased, Ted shifts his hold, rubbing one hand up and down his back, the other carding through his short hair.

“I can’t move on,” Barney confesses in a choked sob. “Don’t you think I’ve tried?”

Ted doesn’t answer — partly because Barney needs to get this out uninterrupted and partly because he’s running through all the major events of their friendship and a great deal of Barney’s behavior is suddenly making much more sense.

“Last night was my first time. With a guy,” he clarifies, speaking into Ted’s shoulder. “I never wanted any guy but you, and now I could never … so I decided, what the hell? Losing myself in women never worked. Nora and Robin, they — I loved them, but they aren’t, they aren’t you.” He stiffens suddenly, like he’s going to make a break for it. Ted braces for this, holding him more tightly.

“It’s okay, Barney,” he says into his ear. This close, Ted can smell Barney’s skin. He smells incredible. He always does, even heartbroken and coming down from a one-night stand.

“It’s _not_ okay,” Barney insists. “It’s not okay and it’s not going to _be_ okay. Come on, Ted, let me go.”

“No,” Ted refuses softly. “Come here, come sit down.” He steers them toward the bed and sits them both down. For the most part, Barney doesn’t resist, following Ted downward, still encircled in his arms. “Barney, I wish there was an easier way to do this. I wish there was a quick fix, but there isn’t, okay? All I know is you’re my friend and I love you, and I wish there was something I could do to make this better for you.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” Barney asks, not looking at him.

Ted takes a deep breath, and answers honestly. “I do.”

Silence. Then, “Then I guess all I can do is try to be happy for you. And maybe one day, I’ll be able to hang out with you again. You know,” he adds, not quite bitterly, “if you have time, with the marriage and the kids and all that stuff.”

“Barney…”

“Ted, I’m sorry, but I can’t … I can’t handle this right now.” He pulls away, gently, and this time Ted lets him go. “Please leave.”

Ted nods, and heads out. He stops at the door. “Barney, even if you can’t deal with me … Lily and the others still really care about you. You’re still our friend, no matter what. You don’t have to do any of this alone.”

Barney only nods, not looking at him.

Feeling unsatisfied, Ted leaves. What else can he do? Rome wasn’t built in a day; some things take much more time.

 

~End.


End file.
